Life as seen through P.S. I Love You

I had a rare free afternoon at work, and I spent it reading quotes from my favourite movie P.S. I Love You. And it got me reminiscing and thinking. And I wanted to share some of my musings with you:

“What a luxury it was for people to hold their loved ones whenever they wanted”
― Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You

Can this be truer? We live our lives, complaining and blaming others for our problems, but if only we could spend a few minutes a day looking into our lives and counting our blessings. They say that we only realise the value of something when we loose it. Imagine living tomorrow without someone special in your life: life-partner, parent, child, sibling... How does it feel? Don't you feel an invisible hand crushing your heart? Sometimes we don't realise that things that seem trivial to us, only seem so because we have it, and we've grown accustomed to it, and we live on assuming it will always be ours, thereby reducing the value of that possession.

I am right now missing someone very badly, so that quote wrenched my heart. To hold someone you love, tell them how much they mean to you, to feel secure in their arms is a privilege that is bestowed upon millions of us, but like all things beautiful, its worth is esteemed by so few.

“Life... It's a great and terrible and short and endless thing. None of us come out of it alive.”
― Cecelia Ahern

That quote always brings a smile to my face. It is a point-blank truth and the beauty of it in the form of the written word is fascinating.

"We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone."

 ―  P.S. I Love You (Movie)

I wish I'd remember this one every birthday, anniversary, holidays and on New Year's eve, when I drown myself in the sorrow of loosing time. I have watched my parents live together more as best friends than a couple. I've watched them understand each other without words, and live their life like a perfect waltz. And I think of the many who are in messy love affairs, broken marriages and other scandals I don't wish to even think about. Why does life get so complicated for some, and as simple as breathing in others?


And then, there were those words that simply left me speechless:

“Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone.”

“She couldn't remember the last time she hugged someone, really hugged someone.”

“Nobody's life is filled with perfect little moments. And if it were, they wouldn't be perfect little moments. They would just be normal. How would you ever know happiness if you never experience downs?”

 Aaand my personal favourite, laughter guaranteed:

“Warring for peace is like screwing for virginity!!”   

Being Human

I've been MIA here for sometime, I realize, but there's been a lot going on in my life lately. My father was diagnosed with Mutiple Myeloma, a lesser known type of cancer, in 2010. It is an understatement to say that, since then, life has changed. It's funny how alive you feel when you are surrounded by death.

I cannot single out any particular event to write about, because there's just so much that needs to be said, but I'm going to go through it all, one post at a time.

Today I want to write about something that captured my attention while I was at the doctor's waiting room last week. My father is being treated at the Apollo Specialty Hospital in Chennai. It is always both depressing and rejuvenating to be at the hospital. Depressing, because every patient around you has a story that crushes your heart. And rejuvenating, because seeing others' troubles makes you realize how trifling our own are.

So last week, my family and I were in the doctor's waiting room, awaiting our turn to see the doctor. It was very crowded, so after standing against the wall awkwardly for a few long minutes, we found our dad a place to sit, and we stood near the back of the room. There was a little boy there, must be about 7-8 years, he was completely hairless and was wearing a hospital mask. Obviously the kid is going through chemotherapy. And he was sitting next to his dad, playing games on his dad's phone. The same scene in a different setting, say at the park, would not have impressed a memory in me. But here, in a hospital that treats chronic ailments, well, that's a different story.

This image has now been etched in my mind. I cannot get it out. Here we are, my mother, brother and I, lamenting in silence over the fate that has affected my father, and in turn, all of us. But my father has lived a full and complete life. He has very few regrets. And there are these children, who have their entire lives ahead of them. Their parents, would have held that child in the delivery room, full of hopes and dreams. What future can possibly lie ahead for this child of 7 years?  Can medication give him a normal life till he reaches the average human life span? I hardly think so.Because here he sits, on a warm winter afternoon, during school vacation, in a hospital, while his friends are outside, playing with other children his age.

And this is just one story. A tiny Middle Eastern girl waked by us holding her mother's hand, wearing hospital gown, fully bald head, holding her medical records in her hands with a forlorn look on her face. A  new born baby was taken into the doctor's consultation room and laid on the examination table. I met a father whose daughter was in a ward next to my father's 2 years ago while he was going through the stem cell transplantation. She is 22 years old, gold medalist student, studying engineering at Anna University. She was diagnosed during her 1st year in college. Her father was beyond his grief. He said, "At least your father has lived long enough to see you grow up. What will become of my daughter? I will never see her get married, or have kids". I could not answer him. I simply nodded, whispered some words of consolation and walked away. What life lies ahead of her? What does she have to look forward to?

India had 5.5 Lakh Cancer deaths in 2010. And since then, the number has been steadily growing. Cancer has not yet been proven to be a hereditary disease. It only seems so, because near kin share the same lifestyle, same food, and hence are prone to the same kind of illnesses. Pollution and unhealthy lifestyle is soon turning this cruel killer disease into a common illness.

I was speaking with a colleague who claimed that smokers are not harming anybody by having a little fun of this own. I would like to take these people to the hospital to see these children. Passive smoking is more harmful than active smoking. The lives of these little children is clouded and dark because of what we've done to this planet. Every little action of ours that simplifies our lifestyle and makes it more fun, causes a greater impact on the future generations.

Reading the newspaper these days is so emotionally exhausting. Rape, murder, war, sickness...We have undone evolution. From being human, we have de-evolved into a species that is worse than an animal. Because even animals don't kill each other for amusement.